Tonight I got to sneak out for a perfect ride on my perfect, little black horse. Well, it was almost perfect. The mosquitos are officially back for the summer. I have decided we really have two seasons here in north central Montana. Snow and mosquitos. Anyhow....
While I was out riding some things occurred to me. I began to wonder why it is, that every time I head out to ride my little black horse, there's a part of me that is afraid. This is a little puzzling to me. Fancy is not a bad girl! I describe her as a "Corvette" of a horse. While good, old Rhett is more like an old Ford truck. My Fancy mare has a huge motor. Every movement is quick and strong. She's so fast she makes me nervous. But she absolutely doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She has never tried to buck me off, has never had a serious "spook" episode and never tried to run away with me. In most situations, for a young horse, she has been very sensible.
So what is causing my anxiety? I think I figured it out. She's new. I got her as an almost two year old and she is now six. But, for most of the time I've had her, I haven't got to ride her much. Soon after I bought her I found out I was going to have twins! So her training was delayed. Life got in the way for a while, until I sent her to a training stable for a year. She came home with lots of saddle time under her belt. But it wasn't with me.
In contrast, I have old Rhett. I've had him since his first breath. He was my kid before I had human children. We have spent more time together than most married couples. I know him upside down and inside out. I can anticipate all of his silly antics and quirks and he'd probably say the same. When I need to just head out for a relaxing ride, he's the guy.
As we get older, we have more scars. We have made mistakes that have caused us pain and sometimes it's very hard to develop a new relationship. We have to be willing to take the risk of getting hurt again. We know we might get bucked off! Even if our new partner is perfect like Fancy, the memory of hitting the dirt keeps us from easily trusting again. So it's gonna take time. Miss Fancy and I are going to have to put in the time required to slowly develop a genuine trust. Over time, as we put in the miles together, I'm pretty sure I'll find it was worth saddling up again.
Now go make something beautiful,